Crazy October

I cannot believe how fast a month passed. I thought I blogged not long ago but it has been a month. October is really a crazy month, I think I am a little more active this month I supposed? I hope November will be over in a blink of eye because I desperately cannot wait for my 5 and a half day centre closure day (could also name it as so call "leave") and then January will be the last month of the internship like finally. Can't wait to stop writing all reflections and report.

Anyway here's how my October goes:

JB on the first weekend in October! 

First Public Holiday spent over steamboat with 32nd @ Lydia's house, thank you for hosting!

Attended Alson's POP!

Brought Jo out for Birthday Dinner together with Natty

Happy 20th Birthday Jo!

BKK Trip with Natty, was a pretty short one but it was fun. I will blog separately for this trip!

Henna done by Teacher Sahrifah for Deepavali Celebration

Love Banana Milk, and its all the way from Korea! 

Meet up with Sec School Clique to celebrate KL 21 Birthday, got stuck in the condo bus so camwhore! 

Surprise celebration for KL

What we do best to kill time hehe 

Wait for BKK Trip!

Future II

This got me thinking the entire day (I literally spend my day at work pondering about my future. Again) 

I would never stop thinking. Thinking about where I should go after I graduate, where will I be in 5, 10, 15 years' time, what I want to become. This issue got really into me nowadays because I'm graduating, getting my diploma in a few months  time. But the question is, what is it in for me after this? 

I have enough of sadness. Worrying about not being able to get a place in local university. I gave up. I looked for courses in private universities (I ended up looking at business again because it's the safest route to take) it cost about $26k to get into one and is it really worth it? Is it really worth it to study something I'm unsure if I want for myself? 

As HR Officer for internship made me question myself if this is what I really want. I find no job motivation, no job satisfaction and I can't identify a goal for myself in HR field. I doubt myself. I doubt if I really want to be working in HR industry. Most importantly, I find no passion working in an enclosed office from 9 to 6. I felt restricted. 

Then, I often find myself browsing through the NTU-NIE website. Teacher. It's what I initially wanted to try. I back off, because it's not easy. 

I remembered that I once said that I would never want to be a teacher. I won't be able to teach well, in fact that I think I'm stupid and I don't want to harm students with whatever incorrect information I have. If I want to be, I want to be a good one. Not just teach well academically, but also to help them in character building. 

I always fall in the top ten of the class (from the back) in primary school. At that point of time, I didn't bothered to study. Teachers asked me what I don't know, but I myself don't even know what I don't know. I am a natural introvert which made me asked 0 questions in class (maybe because I didn't know what to ask too) 

I vividly remembered that I felt hopeless but it didn't really bothered me. Probably because that I'm too young. I just blindly find my way through to pass PSLE. There isn't the word 'study' in my dictionary, because I don't know how. My parents never bothered about my studies, they don't know how to either. 

It just felt like there is no teachers that go the extra mile for me. I felt like I'm the 'forgotten' student always. Once I moved on, I don't think I leave any impression for my teachers. I am a student under financial assistance but I doubt any teachers actually cared and know that I'm one. 

I want and hope to be someone better (you know Maslow Hierarchy - self actialization? HAHA) and I often think that what if I could help students like me. I mean I want a job that give me sense of satisfaction, and that sense of satisfaction will push me harder to motivate myself to do better. Be it in career prospect or personally. 

Still, am I really fit to be one? Is it really something for me? It got me thinking again. . . . 

Friends

Something really upset me and it made me reflect and think a lot - friends. After scrolling my phone contact and thinking who I could actually approached to, I could only find a handful. The only people who I would always be comfortable with, will always be my sec school girls. Despite not meeting for long or often, it only makes me feel more attached to them. We all grew up together, and of course there are times when we were childish, having fights and quarrels but its all fine now.

I have over 100 contacts in my phone, but who are those who I really want to be with? Thinking about some of them really irks me.

1) Friends who always put you last priority

Those who will only call you up to arrange for meet up when they have no one to accompany them. You will always be the their last choice. And after that meet up, they disappear for a few months or even years before calling you up again. 

2) Friends with motive

Those who will only whatsapp or text you when they need something from you. And when you try to be nice, putting in effort to catch up with them. They fu*king last seen you. Some of them even fake up a conversion and beat around the bush just to dig out information from you. 

3) Friends who get pissed off easily

Those that simply give you a middle finger when you ruin or cannot make it to their plans. 

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I am not trying to say that I am an awesome friend. Frankly speaking, I might also be one the above. And if I am, you probably meant nothing to me because you are treating me the same way. Everything works two way right? 

Nevertheless, I am still thankful for those who really cared and understand me. 

Future

I am graduating next year which is just a few months away. Choosing the internship path makes me "graduate" earlier than others who are still studying in school for their final semester. Growing up is so scary, yet pretty cool and worrying at the same time. I have never imagine myself now as a 19 years old (going to 20) lady when I am just 7 years old little girl. I have never thought about my future when I was young. All I see was that is so far away and it will take me forever to reach there here. 

I have no idea where will I be going after this. The fact that I can't enter local university makes me upset. I regretted not trying my best in the first few semesters of polytechnic. When I realised that I should worked harder, it's already the last semester of my course. Although to many my GPA could be consider desirable and good, but not to me. Getting a place in the university seems so out of reach to me, especially getting in business school again. Other courses doesn't seems suitable for me at all. After many years of personal development, I still have yet to find my so call talent and dream.

I struggle finding an alternative route for myself. I don't even dare to pick up the courage to be a teacher. Simply because I have no confidence in teaching students well enough. I will never be able to clear all their curiosity. 

Sometimes I wonder, why am I so desperate trying to get into a local university and other universities are always second on list. What am I gonna do about me not getting in? 

Bye September, Hello October

I have been relatively busy lazy to do anything and now that I have looked back.... September is ending. And I have accomplished nothing, I am so inactive nowadays. I don't blog, I hardly dayre or even go out to have fun with my friends (I am sorry if I say that I'll meet you but I didn't) I just feel that its pretty carefree like this with no commitment.

All I do all day is to go work > home > drama > start dreaming

To be honest, the fact that I had nothing to do at work makes me dread coming to work every day. You must be thinking that I'm crazy, who on earth will want to have tons of work to do. Yeah, me. I'm crazy. Time passes really slow if I had nothing to do at work, and the point is that I am here to learn as much as I can within the 5 months. Ok, let's rephrase my sentence. It's not that I have nothing to do but maybe too little work? Not trying to boast about myself but I think I finished up work really fast. And they are always so afraid that they will pile up too much work for me :-( Maybe I should start writing a reflection on how I should slow down my efficiency level......

Nevertheless, September has officially come to an end. I hope October would be a more interesting month for me since I am flying to Bangkok for 3 days. No, 2 days to be exact. 

Overview of my boring September 

Dinner & Dance with the other 2 interns from NP 

Closest colleague in office 

Tim Ho Wan

Met up with Jo for dinner on one of the week after work 

Went chomp chomp on one of the Thursday with colleagues and had some durian mousse for dessert. Super yummy, if only its located nearer to my place..

Had Korean food cravings recently and thanks to Korean Buddy Natty for always accompanying me for Korean Food. I think I can lived being a Korean for the rest of my life hahahaha

Polka Dots & Stripes Birthday Party 

Princess for the night, happy 20th lydz

Thirty second at lydia's two-ty

Thai Food at Orchard Tower, and is the best I have tasted so far

Gossip girls, one of the groups I always looked forward and excited meeting to

Picture with sis before going off JB last weekend

One of my rare #ootd after many weeks of intern and the main point of the picture is my little fox shoes

That's it for September and hopefully October would be so much more interesting with Bangkok Trip during the month. See you in end October! 

I'm back again after 2 days of internship (9am - 6pm all day every day). I am thankful that work load is coming in, I don't want to be seen as "slacker" or "useless" because I don't know what to do. Please let more work come in so I can feel occupied.

Day 1 outfit for work, and I stopped taking today because I felt like I couldn't smile nicely at all. 

I felt out of the world right now that I don't see any friends on normal day basis like I always do. Everyone is just so busy to entertain me when I have so much to share about my life. And now that I think, why am I so excited for about others' life when they don't even bother about mine? I cared so much that I bother to wish my friends all the best during day 1 of internship in the morning but I realized that nobody actually took the initiatives to wish me first. The only person who wished me was Natty when she ain't even in the same course as me (Business and Nursing major in 2 different industry) and I really appreciate that she always put in effort to remember every single thing about me. 

Oh well, I guess we're all starting to part ways since its "no school anymore". I still cannot believe the fact that I am out for work, and pretty afraid to step into the "working world" to meet all sorts of people. Thinking about not getting in University makes me worried. Where should I go then? 

SUKI-YA

Hurray! It's the end of final examination for the 3 years in Poly (Not exactly 3 years, but this is the last exam) Can't be more than happy to save myself from drowning in the notes. I was panicking for Industrial Relations paper because it is just so difficult to predict what will be tested, and I was praying the "general" questions will be manageable. I made small mistakes after checking answers with my friends, but I hope they don't deduct too many marks (*cross fingers*)

Since it's the end of examination, we shall call for a celebration by having some buffet! I just realized I had buffet almost after every final examination or common test for the past few semester (fat me die)

Jo and me planned to go Suki-ya for very long, I think 3-4 weeks even before examinations. She mentioned to me that they have free flow cheese tofu..... SO WE HAD TO GO!!! We both love cheese tofu so we cannot missed this buffet (basically, I love anything that has cheese)

We ordered Kim Chi and Sukiyaki for Soup Base as well as 4 trays of beef and 4 trays of chicken 

(I didn't finished the chicken :x)

We raid for cheese tofu immediately.... I think I had more than 10 of it HAHA

I think we spent around 2 hours there, chilling and eating since we have the whole world of time after exams! We spent a total of around $22 each after service charge and GST. It's $17.90+ for one person and we had discount for $13.90 + for the second person. We went to the outlet at Plaza Singapura and they have a lot of outlets in Singapore, check out their website.

Plaza Singapura

68 Orchard Road

#04-63/67 Plaza Singapura

Singapore 238839

Jo mentioned that she felt like having llao llao and since I have been craving for llao llao too, we decide to walk to Marina Square for some llao llao hoping that there was no queue BUT WE ARE WRONG. The queue was mad long (there wasn't even any queue when I went the previously with Natty). We queued for around 20 minutes since we walked so long just for this.

We both ordered Sanum for $5.90 each! They are opening new outlet at Plaza Singapura too... llao llao is gonna be every where soon 

Marina Link #B1-04 

Marina Square Shopping Mall

Ending the post with a picture of us! Thank god for her, if not I don't know how I will survived this semester (I don't have any friends to hang out with in my specialisation) We always have this fate to be assigned the same class in Year 1 and that somehow bring us together in Year 3. We hope for good GPA this semester and next stop - internship! 

Brew Maison

Officially down with 2 papers and left 1 last paper on Friday. I cannot explain how exhausted I am from writing, reading, thinking and memorising from all my notes. I felt like my hand will break any time after today's paper. All final year papers just require ultimate level of thinking skill and it killed so much brain cells of mine.... It's like as you grow older, expectations of you goes up together. 

I met Natty yesterday for studying session after I end my paper. She had plans in mind of where to study and I will just follow the flow. I had never liked studying outside because I feel so comfortable studying at home with whatever I have and I do not need to spend a single cent. 

To me, studying outside = not productive 

My perception changed totally after studying with Natty at Brew Maison! I have gone several places to study over the years but nowhere beats Brew Maison. To be honest, I wasn't keen to go because it is located at Bukit Timah which is very far from where I stay and there is no direct public transport back home. 

But I didn't regretting going there! They have the best environment for studying - it's quiet, it's comfortable (not too comfortable till you fall asleep) and it's not crowded at all. Its probably weekday so the crowd wasn't there. I initially thought it will be a relatively small café (thanks to stereotyping) but it is indeed kinda big. My first reaction when I stepped in is "wah, so big ah!" 

So I have decided to keep a record of the café or restaurants I went from now on since I frequent them lately. 

Brew Maison is a café inspired by Japanese/Korean Style opened just this year. They served breakfast and brunch as well as coffee. I only bought a cup of Latte Coffee for $4 because we had sushi for lunch before heading there. I looked through their menu and I think it is quite affordable. I cannot wait to go back again after finals to chill and read some books. 

I didn't took a lot of pictures because I never intended to write about it but...... better than nothing! I am thinking of writing about my reviews for Taobao after all my items arrived :-) 

Address:

Brew Maison 
383 Bukit Timah Road 
#01-9B, Alocassia Apartments
Singapore 259727

Mon - Fri: 07:00 - 22:00
Sat - Sun: 08:00 - 22:00

I finally got rid of my unglamorous layout of my huge face as the header (what was I thinking 2 years back....) I deleted all my previous posts because its all too childish and self-centred. I cannot believe that I used to think that I look pretty decent in those ootd pictures.

I still decide to use back the same URL which is almost 7 years old. I cannot think of any better URL for myself after so many years.... and this is inspired by one of my primary school friend. I decide to write again, since I can dayre so this means that I can blog too right?

This will be the record-keeping of my journey from now since internship is starting which is a brand new start yet again (Hurray for no more exams forever - if I don't get in university)

First official paper tomorrow and its getting nearer to the end of exam. Good luck to me!